Depzkwan's Blog

My Life's Passion


I did not think that I would see a cute guy. As far as I knew, he was in a different grade. I was in junior high school and he was in senior high school. When I saw him for the first time, I did not like him but I do not know why when I saw him for the second time I felt for him. Actually, I wanted to get to know him better but I felt very embarrassed to do that. So, for nearly two years, I had just been enjoying his cute face from far and looking for information about him. On some occasions, I felt fed up with him for no reason but after a few times, I still felt I liked him. From my friends, I knew that he was four years older than me and he had not passed the first grade of senior high school and the extracurricular was the reason. I did not know it was true or not.

One day, I got surprised. Like I have said before I did not get to know him for nearly two years and suddenly, I found him in MIRC (chatting community on internet). I dared myself to communicate with him. Because of my childishness, the communication was not running smoothly. I was very disappointed. But the one thing that I got was his real name. Yah… His name was Alex. He seemed to be an adult guy and like an older brother when we chatted. He gave me some advice about studying at school. Besides that, one thing that made me happy was that I got his e-mail address. So, a few days later I sent him a message to his e-mail address. What I got from our dialogue was knowledge about school and what I had to do as a student. Honestly, I liked him more and more.

About two months later, I graduated from junior high school and he graduated from senior high school. In the first grade, I took extracurricular classes in Mandarin. But my other friends took extracurricular classes in nature. It turned out that Alex was one of the leaders of the extracurricular classes in nature. One of my friends that had lessons from him hated him. She told me that he was a rude guy and an ugly guy. I just had to keep silent so not to create an awful situation. Even though he had not passed the first grade of senior high school, it did not mean he was a stupid guy. Maybe, he just got stuck. And although my friend said that he was a rude guy, so far he had acted me kindly. Besides that, he had helped me a lot. No matter what people said about Alex, I knew he was a true friend.

about 2005

based on true story…

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Freak Kidnappers

Once upon a time, when I was studying in English class, suddenly something strange happened. An English teacher came out to find out what had happened. I and my friends felt so scared in the class. After 10 minutes, the English teacher didn’t come back. What was wrong? We didn’t know. While we were frightened and kept silent, suddenly an unknown person came in with left eye patch like a pirate and a half mask covered his left cheek. With a careful step, he closed door.


UP (Unknown Person): “Sorry to annoy you, (he looked at the students face then…) or sorry to make you afraid. I just wanna tell you that someone has just been kidnapped. She is a student from another class.”

G (Gricela) : “A girl?”

UP             : “Yes, she is.”

G              : “what’s her name?”

UP             : “Mm… I don’t know, but I heard the kidnapper called her ‘Reyna’.”

G              : “My God.” (Speak Slowly)

UP             : “Do you know her?”

G              : “I get to know her but not too close.”

Yoyo         : “By the way, where is our teacher?”

UP             : “There’re a lot of teachers down there. I saw them in the teacher’s room. They are being kept by the kidnappers.”

Riz (Rizel)   : “How many kidnappers down there?”

UP             : “Mm… Maybe there are about 5 kidnappers. I don’t know if there’re still other kidnappers out there.

Ok! Stop asking me! I’ll tell you an important thing from one of them.”

Rid (Ridi)   : “Are you their friend? How can we trust you?”

UP             : “Calm down! I’m just pretending to be their friends.”

G              : “You’re playing with fire.”

UP             : “I wanna talk…”

Riz             : “Please, go ahead”

UP             : “Which one is Gricela?”


Everyone looked at me with scared eye.


G              : “Me, what’s up?”

UP             : “You have to negotiate with the kidnapper if you want her to stay alive.”

G              : “Do you have any idea what I have to negotiate?”

UP             : “I don’t know. I’m just doing what he said.”

G              : “Ok.” (I stood up and walked to the door and was followed by the UP)

Riz             : “Wait!”


Spontaneously, I and the UP stopped walking.


G              : “What’s up, Riz?”

Riz             : “Why does she have to do it, man?”

UP             : “I’ve told you, I don’t know anything. I’m just doing what he said.”

G              : “Oya, Ridi! Do you bring your laptop?”

Rid            : “Of course.”

G              : “Use it to call the police and arrange everything.

Mm… The others just help him or do something useful! Maybe I would come back alive or not.”

Riz             : “No!”


Everybody kept silent. I, the UP, and Rizel came out.


G              : “Sorry, you can wait for me downstairs.”

UP             : “Won’t be long! Ok?”

G              : “Ok!”


After he went away, Rizel talked to me hysterically.


Riz             : “You shouldn’t do this, Cel!”

G              : “Why? I’ve to help everybody, right?”

Riz             : “But…”

G              : “What’s a matter?”

Riz             : “But… you still need me to help you in the negotiation.”

G              : “They only need me, Riz! Not you!! I don’t want you to be involved just because of me. If something happened to you I would have had to shoulder the responsibility, and I don’t want that to happen.


I left and went downstairs. But he grabbed my hand when I was at half the stairs.


Riz             : “Wait!”

G              : “What’s up Riz?”

Riz             : “Why don’t you make me your representative?

G              : “It won’t work, Riz!

Actually, what’s in your mind?”

Riz             : “I’m thinking of your safety.”

G              : “I don’t think so.”

Riz             : “Yes, I do!”

G              : “No, you don’t! I think, you’re thinking of Reyna’s safety.”

Riz             : “Yah… of course, but…”

G              : “Yah! Of course! Because you like her.”


He kept silent for a while.


Riz             : “Please… Let me help you!”

G              : “Do you think a girl like me is weaker than you?”

Riz             : “No, I don’t.”

G              : “I just have to negotiate, Riz. Not to fight physically. I can handle that. Ok?

Riz             : “But, Cel…”

G              : “Shut up! Go back to the class! I’m in hurry, you know that.”


So, I went downstairs again, but suddenly I heard him say…


Riz             : “You did it for me, right? Because you like me. You can’t lie to me. I appreciate what you’ve done. Hey, remember? I wanna do anything for you and this is the time for me to prove what’ I’ve said.”

G              : “I’m sorry Riz.” (I said without facing him)


At downstairs, I met the UP. He turned back to pretend as a cruel guy. He grabbed my hands tightly and brought me to the… kidnapper’s negotiator (??) The UP pushed me down. I was in the principal’s room with the kidnapper’s negotiator (?). The door was closed.


KN            : “Just the two of us, girl!”

G              : “Who are you?”


I was sitting on the floor and he was standing in front of me, he acted like… I don’t know… Not scary at all. Just his face was like the UP. I thought all kidnappers wore those things.


KN            : “Hey! Don’t be in a hurry. Why don’t you stand up then sit down here?” (He pointed to the chair beside him)


I stood up and suddenly he grabbed my hand tightly and uncouthly. He pushed me to the chair next to him, he sat on the corner of the desk.


G              : “Ok! I’m sitting now. What do you want from me?”

KN            : “First, I just want you to know me. You don’t know me yet, right?”

G              : “So, who are you?”

KN            : “Hey! Don’t talk until I ask you to or everyone will die!

Ok! Actually, I’m Rizel’s friend. Not just me, but we all are.

Second, we know that you like Rizel.

Third, you have to keep away from Rizel, not make communication in sms or chitchat.

Fourth, it’s your turn!”

G              : “Looser!”

KN            : “Oya? (he took a knife from his pocket and pointed it into my face).

You dare me?

G              : “I just wanna talk. You will let me do that, right?”

KN            : “Ok! Please, go ahead!”

G              : “You just want me to keep away from him and that’s a simple thing. But why are you kidnapping Reyna? Not me?

KN            : “Good question. I just wanna dare you to save her for him. You know that he likes her.”

G              : “That’s all?”

KN            : “Not really… Because I like you, I don’t want you to keep close to another man, especially Rizel.”

G              : “Crazy!”

KN            : “Yes, I am.”

G              : “But, why are the teachers also being involved?”

KN            : “Oo… It’s just to tighten the condition. Ha..ha..ha..”

G              : “Ok! I will keep away from him and not make anymore communication with him. Deal! And now, set us free!”

KN            : “Easier to be said than done, huh?”

G              : “Oo, please… We’ve already made a deal.”

KN            : “O yeah! But, I haven’t told you the consequences yet. I’ll give you a punishment if you contravene that deal.”

G              : “What’s that?”

KN            : “First, if you talk to him or make such communication with him and I don’t know, it’s lucky for you, but…

Second, if you do that and I know it, I’ll take you to somewhere strange and nobody’s there. And I’ll do what I wanna do. Hahaha…”

G              : “What if I told Rizel about you?”

KN            : “You don’t even know my name?”

G              : “Indeed, I don’t know your name, but who else would know about his personality and secret except his best friend? Huh?

KN            : “How clever you are!”

G              : “You can say that again. What kind of best friend are you?”

KN            : “Hey… I’m just doing all of this for you, honey… Not for him…”

G              : “But you also don’t think about impact on him although you do this for me!”

KN            : “O yeah?” (Apparently, his face looked like shock). How could I?

G              : “Ask him! You’re his best friend, right?”


I don’t know whether he felt guilty or not.


G              : “Ok! You’ve said the core of the problem and talked about this unimportant thing. Your job now is to set us free, please…”

KN            : “Ok! Right!”


Then he ordered his friends to go out one by one after setting the hostages free. I was waiting for the police but nothing happened. I went upstairs and came in to the class. Everybody was still there.


G              : “Where are the police, Rid?”

Rid            : “I’m sorry Cel! I don’t know what happened; suddenly this thing couldn’t connect to the police. I’ve tried it.

By the way, is everything ok, now?”

G              : “Of course! I’m still alive.

Go home now friends! The kidnappers have gone. Good bye!”


I went out, suddenly…


Riz             : “Cel! Wait! Is everybody ok?”


I was still in my position, not facing him.


G              : “Don’t look at me, Riz! Or, I’ll die…”

Riz             : “What?”

G              : “O yeah… You changed the word ‘Reyna’ with ‘everybody’, right?

I think, she’s ok because I just saw her at a glance.

You have to be happy because ‘everybody’ is ok. Good bye!”

Riz             : “Please, Cel! Don’t say Reyna, Reyna, and Reyna again. Because the one that I like is…


G              : “Reyna… Don’t lie to your heart! You have a spirit to be close to her.

By the way, don’t disturb me again. I have had been enough occasion and I won’t come back.”


After that, I really went away. I don’t know what happened to him next. I heard Yoyo calmed him down. Everything’s back to the normal. Everyone felt free and had a little smile. I just came out from that place by foot. Went nowhere! The first that I thought was Puntang Mountain. But I don’t know the way to that place. So… I just walked away in the rain.


about 2006-2007

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Tak ada yang hidup dalam kekosongan hati…

What does this sentence mean?? dunno… namanya juga empty ya empty, apa yang mo diomongin lagi??

andai engkau tahu (bukan tempe – by club80’s)
aku masih di sini untuk setia (for who?? – by jikustik)
“kau! (yup! aku – by glenn) putri jangan menangis, hapus air mata (u said that to me but u who made me cry – by jikustik)”
sendiri (yah! i’m always alone!!! – by sherina)
baru ku sadari, cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan (sudah kusadari actually – by Dewa)
aku berjanji, untuk sahabat (buat apa buat lu, klo lu sendiri no respon at all- by audy feat nindy)
segala yang terjadi dalam hidupku ini adalah sebuah misteri ilahi (lagi-lagi hanya inilah jawaban dari perjalanan hidupku dan hidup lu!!! – by Ari Lasso (bukan Alas, lu kira ‘alas kaki’??!! Enak aja!!))

e: “Eh! apaan tuh??”
d: “Nothing!”
e: “Puisi?”
d: “What do u think?”
e: “Kayak bukan ya…”
d: “U’ve answered ur question.”
e: “Klo bukan puisi apa donk?”
d: “Don’t ask! Think!”
e: “Ur heart?” (sambil mengerutkan dahi seribu lapis – lebih-lebih daripada tango)
d: “Exactly!”
e: “Who is ‘U’ in this sentence?”
d: “Who have broken my heart.”
e: “Who’s that?”
d: “Not ‘who’s that’ but ‘who are those’.
e: “Banyak banget!! Emank lu udah pernah pacaran berapa kali?”
d: “Zero times.”
e: “Never? Tapi koq bisa break?”
d: “Yeee… emanknya klo ‘my heart is broken’ harus pacaran dulu apa?? The journey, man!! Think of it!!”
e: “Emank mereka buat salah apa ke lu?”
d: “None of them who made mistakes to me. I who made lots of mistakes. They know nothing.”

Then, terjadilah kerutan dahinya lagi…
d: “Dari dulu, selalu aja gua yang jadi korban perasaan gua sendiri. Kesel ya kesel sendiri. Jadi, siapa yang suruh gua suka mereka kan ga ada. jadi ya balik lagi ke gua. The burdens are too heavy, man!!”
e: “Beraat, jack!”
d: “Indeed!”
e: “Kalau begitu… I know one of them??”
d: “Penting ya?”
e: “Not too sih…”
d: “Nah kan…”
e: “Let’s see!!!” (pikir berpikir, he’s thinking now… how long are u taking the time, honey??) “It’s me is one of them??”
d: “I don’t wanna answer that.”
e: “So, the answer is ‘yes’?”
d: “I don’t say that.”
e: “Come on! If yes, maybe I can change my behavior to u.”
d: “No one or nothing can make my heart get well afterward.”
e: “So… what should I do for u?”
d: “U’re my friend, right?”

Nodded, and nodded…

d: “So, just act me as your friend.”

Again, kerutan dahi yang melebihi lapisan tango.

d: “I like u just the way u are and I love u just the way u are”

Hening sejenak…

d: “Of course, as ur friend…”
e: “So, I’ve to like en love u just the way u are?”
d: “Actually, it’s general sih… but at least respond what u and I have to respond and to be responded.”
e: “Oooo… Nyindir nih??”
d: “Sadar nih??”

Smile… smile…
We’ve got the spot in the middle…
Where did the one last cry????

Makin bingung readers??? Same… I’m the writer as confuse as u… but please don’t faint now!!
Arah ceritanya sebenarnya mau kemana seeh??

10 april 2007

curhat story

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Twitter vs G-mail

Suatu hari di dunia jaringan internet hiduplah empat sahabat yang saling mengisi satu sama lain. Mereka adalah Yahoo, G-mail, Facebook, dan Twitter. Demi menjaga reputasi mereka dengan mengisi akun mereka seoptimal mungkin, mereka pun saling mengalah dalam berbagi akun dan saling mengerti satu sama lain.

Namun, entah kenapa di jam 16.00 kehidupan mereka terusik. Mereka mulai memperebutkan akun blog yang bernama Fieldcat. Dengan segala daya magis yang mereka anggap ada, mereka berusaha menelepati sang empunya yang bernama Cutecat agar dipilih dalam mem-follow blog Fieldcat , yang katanya terkenal hingga seantero kampung Internet distrik Timur. Siapa yang tak mau coba menilik kehidupan sang empu blog yang terkenal itu?!

Tapi yang benar saja, mana ada akun internet yang bisa menelepati sang empunya, apalagi punya daya magis. Emang daya magis apa yang dapat dimiliki akun internet??

“Hey, kalian! Yahoo, G-mail, dan Twitter!”

Mereka bertiga tersentak kaget karena ada yang mengajak berbicara. Gila apa ya yang mengajak bicara?? Koq bisa-bisanya gitu mengajak bicara akun internet, ckckck…

Eh, tapi kasak-kusuk mereka terhenti setelah tahu yang mengajak bicara mereka adalah sang empu akun, Cutecat. Akhirnya, ada juga yang memahami bahasa kami, kata mereka dalam hati.

“Kalian ingin mem-follow blog Fieldcat kan?”

Mereka bertiga mengangguk, yang tentu saja tak bisa dilihat oleh sang empunya. Namun, perasaan sang empu dan akun-akun itu begitu kental, hingga Cutecat pun tahu apa yang dirasakan mereka.

“Maaf, Yahoo. Kamu dieliminasi terlebih dahulu.”

“Mengapaaa… kamu begini???” nyanyi sang Yahoo seperti lagu Naif yang lagi-lagi tentu saja tak terdengar oleh Cutecat. Meskipun kesal, tetapi Yahoo tak kecewa.

“Oke, sekarang, G-mail dan Twitter suit.”

Satu kali. G-mail menang.

“Sekali lagi,” kata Cutecat.

Kedua kali. Twitter menang.

“Sekali lagi.”

Ketiga kali. G-mail menang lagi.

G-mail dan Twitter tegang. Ga jelas ini maunya si Cutecat. Sudah tiga kali suit tapi nunggu keputusannya baru dua jam kemudian.

“Lagi galau kali dia,” bisik Twitter pada G-mail.

“Emang lu ngerti perasaan manusia apa?”

“Hey, man. Dia ini bos kita, sebagai anak buahnya yang baik hati, tidak sombong, dan setia, tentu saja sangat mengerti perasaannya.”

“Alahhh, setia apa lu? Cuma dibuka sesekali juga lu masih bisa setia?”

“Eh, ngaca donk lu! Emang lu dibuka lebih sering dari gue??”

“Terus gue harus bilang WOW, gitu??”

“Hey kalian!!!” Cutecat mulai berteriak memanggil lagi dengan tampang setengah lesu setengah ada pencerahan. (jadi gimana ya itu maksudnya?)

“Putuskan oleh kalian sendiri deh.”

Doennngggg… gdubraggg… dua jam menunggu ditambah dengan acara suit, sekarang malah disuruh memutuskan sendiri? Please deh Princess Cutecat. Mereka berkeluh kesah hampir bersamaan.

“Oke, kita suit lagi,” kata Twitter pede.

Seringkali mereka mendapatkan hasil seri, tapi lebih sering selipan Twitter yang menang. Namun, karena Twitter merasa lebih dewasa, ia pun mengalah. Pemberian kesempatan itu tak disia-siakan oleh G-mail.

“Eh, tunggu dulu, sebelum lu follow dia, coba tuh suruh Cutecat ubah foto lu dulu.”

“Emang apa urusannya sama lu?”

“Emang ga ada, hanya saran dari gue. Jangan pasang foto duaan sama cowonya gitu.”

“Itu cowo nya gitu??”


Sebelum gosip berlanjut ke arah yang lebih panas, G-mail pun memberi bahasa isyarat pada Cutecat tentang fotonya itu. Namun, ternyata, tanpa disuruh pun Cutecat telah mempertimbangkannya sejak semula sejak G-mail terpilih. Diubahlah foto G-talk nya sebelum mem-follow blog Fieldcat.


“Kenapa, G-mail?” tanya Twitter, dan akun lain hanya bisa nguping dari tadi.

“Ternyata ga usah ubah foto weee, tapi disuruh browse foto baru.”

“Ya udah kale, sabodo amat. Lu ini yang udah terpilih,” kata Twitter sambil menyilangkan tangan dan membuang muka.

“Hoi, berisik amat sih? Gue aja yang ga kepilih adem ayem sejuk-sejuk aje,” kata Yahoo dengan bangga.

“Iye, gue aja yang dari tadi jadi kamcong aja asik-asik aja, meskipun saham gue turun, tapi pengikut masih aja bertambah,” timpal Facebook nyantai.

“Diem aja lu berdua! Akun kalian kan udah dipake dimana-mana!!” kata Twitter dan G-Mail hampir bersamaan dengan nada kesal pastinya.

“Eh, bukannya sekarang akun Twitter yang lebih banyak daripada Facebook ya?” tanya G-Mail secara retoris setelah googling di browsernya sendiri.

“Lu sebenarnya lebih bela siapa sih?” tanya Twitter yang tak mengerti posisi G-Mail sebenarnya.

“Mmm… ya ga ada juga sih,” G-Mail bingung koq malah Twitter yang marah, “eh, koq jadi lu yang sewot, gue kan udah bela lu.”

“Woy! Messenger gue banyak yang pake lho!!” tiba-tiba Yahoo berteriak.

“Terus gue harus salto dan bilang WOW gitu??” timpal Twitter, G-Mail, dan Facebook.

Mereka pun jadi saling kejar-kejaran, saling cakar-cakaran, saling bela sekaligus saling hina. Memang tak jelas sih mereka. PC Cutecat sudah tak jelas lagi tampilan desktopnya. Ikon keempat akun tersebut terlihat hilir mudik dan hilang timbul. Tapi koq tiba-tiba ada yang ikut nimbrung ya?? Siapa mereka??

“Field!!!” Cutecat menghubungi Fieldcat melalui sambungan telepon.

“Yup, Cute, ada apa?”

“Koq nadanya tenang gitu sih??”

“Emang ada apa?”

“Lihat PC lu! Creative Monster buatan lu keluar dari kandang.”

Wah… ikon-ikon desktop yang lain malah dipakai main segala. Ada juga yang malah mengdeletekan diri karena sangat terganggu dengan akun-akun tersebut dan creative monster yang tak jelas main kejar-kejaran. Tidakkk!!! Cutecat jadi frustasi.

“Hey, kalian! Bisa tenang ga?! Gua ERASE lu semua! ” kata Fieldcat yang mulai frustasi juga.

Tiba-tiba mereka, para akun dan creative monster diam, kemudian berkumpul di tengah layar, mulai menampakkan jati diri mereka. “TERUS GUE HARUS BILANG AAWWW GITU??!!”


The end

11 Sept 2012 (just for fun ^^)

dedicated to:

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